Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Man vs Mild

Hey Hey Hey.

So since we last spoke there was Spring Break in California and two weeks back in Tucson.

Spring Break was very cool. I stayed at my parent's apartment in LA and it is pretty spesch. Sorry to disapoint those of you who are fans of String the rig and those of you who wish to put a black mark on any future career I may or may not have in the public eye, but there was no scandelous behaviour on my part. Although even if there was, I wouldn't share it here.

The highlight of the week was obviously watching the LA Lakers take on my Golden State Warriors at Staples Center. From a box seat no less. Unfortunately I forgot to put my flash drive in my camera so I couldn't take any photos. However for any doubters out there I have saved the ticket, so put a sock in it.

I also spent a rather large amount of time watching the NCAA tournament and took great delight in the fact that Arizona made it to the Sweet Sixteen (Quarter-Finals).

At some point during the week, I had the chance to spend a day cruising up and down Santa Monica. It was awesome, the best bit was seeing the ocean again. That is something that you tend to miss after five months in the desert. In addition, Santa Monica has a pretty sweet little, shops/cafe set up without being to full of itself.

Oh, and President Obama stayed across the road. Despite public outcry to do otherwise, I didn't not try and take on the Secret Service, just to say hello. That would have been rude.

The lowlight of the trip was definately coming back to Tucson. No, not because I was sentimental (you should know by now I don't feel emotion) but because it was a 10 hour train ride. Don't get me wrong, trains are cool. I'm a train rater not a train hater, but 10 hours going at 40mph can get a bit tidious.

Ok so that was LA. Super. Back in Tucson, there was a mad rush to study for one of my mid-terms. Which did not go so well. But the good news is that I was saved by the bell curve and am still in the game.

Interestingly, the subject is about armed conflict and one of my other units is about women in politics and in that class I am doing reasonably well. So you could read into this and say that I am a big girly man, or you could read into it and say that I'm all sensitive to the ladies needs and I am just what you are looking for in a life partner.

I think neither are correct. Its probably more likely that there are lots of intelligent women in that class and I don't want to look like a dickhead.

That weekend I went to my first frat party. It was not bad. Not bad at all. But rest assured, Australian University drinking clubs, you go just as well and often better.

This week just gone was dominated by study. I did manage to creep out on Saturday night, but that was really the extent of it.

My brother is coming out tonight, so that is exciting. I told him to bring a pair of 'loose pants' because I plan on taking him on a 'Chris Barty Cheeseburger tour'. I'll let you know how that goes.

OH! Jay-Z in exactly 3 weeks. Yep. Yep. Yep.

ctb.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Well, at least its not green.

So its been an interesting week. My hair has changed colors twice and shortened in length. The first color change has been hidden in my soon-to-be-deleted social networking page of choice. The second, will never seen by anybody because as soon as it happened, I bought a hat. Until the situation is rectified, all photos in which I am featured will be taken under the protection of my new one-fit baseball cap. It is a particularly cool hat though.

For those wondering. I lost a bet. Well technically, I won a bet. But I lost. If you know what I mean. Before I got it done, the stylist asked an interesting question, 'is your hair virgin?'. I was taken aback by the question. But it makes sense now that its been completely fucked.

I was in Wisconsin for the Intercollegiate National Championships. Apparently Wisconsin is famous for beer and cheese. I indulged in a little of both. I also had a record five cheeseburgers.

The team came fourth, which is how we started the week. It was a slightly empty feeling in the makeshift locker room (which was actually a squash court, with a clear glass wall on one side) after the game. I think its because the boys felt that they had the tools to at least pick up a spot during the week.

However thats sport, and its generally a squad with a lot of promise that needs minor tweaking rather than wholesale change to get a lot done. So hopefully the boys will learn from it and go on to bigger and better things next year.

I think the lads think I'm completely ridiculous. I taught them the phrases,
'Face like a dropped pie'
'Face like a bucket of smashed crabs'
'A few kangaroos short in the top paddock'
(which they thought I made up, they also didn't know what a paddock was)

I also got a chance to catch up with a few Gliders, which was nice. Apparently my accent is very Australian. Which I think is a compliment of the highest order. So thank you ladies.

After a day of rest and recuperation I flew to LA to catch up with my family. For those who were hoping for Mexican shenanigans don't panic, I'm hoping to head down next month for a weekend of fun.

I'm looking forward to getting to the beach and unleashing the scotsman on Southern California.

ctb

What's black, white and red all over?

I heard today that Seattle is now without a major newspaper after the Post Intelligencer decided to go entirely online after the cost of using paper proved too expensive. This is a sign of the times as people prefer to get their news from alternate sources. While on the plane, I read that TV might also be in trouble as those in the industry look to go online.

At first I was saddened by the news that their would be no news, on paper at least. After all newspapers have been a regular feature of the home for scores of years. There are many reasons why newspapers in their current form, will continue to struggle. They simply can not compete with the up to the minute updates, of internet, mobile, TV and radio news. As a news follower it also doesn't make sense to pay for a newspaper, when you can get the same article online for free and possibly a free video update. In this scenario I get to decide what is and what is not newsworthy. Not even Cable television or satellite radio can compete with that. If the website I'm looking at doesn't have the news I'm after I can quickly and easily switch news services, much like changing channels on the TV or the radio.

I then thought, if there are no newspapers, then what will I use to squash bugs? I then remembered that I've used everything from flip flops to the bottom of soft drink cans to get the job done and they've all be relatively effective. So once again, newspapers appear to be replaceable.

It also seems that Paper boys (or newspaper delivery persons if you want to be politically correct), will be out of a job. Will this mean that more children will be asking their parents for extra pocket money, thus adversely effecting the economy? I'm not economist, so my sound financial advice is, look elsewhere for sound financial advice.

The one advantage that newspapers have is that once something is put down on paper, it is undeniable. It is there for all to see. It can not be deleted or infected by a virus, it can not be hacked into or changed.

I wouldn't suggest that newspaper reporting is flawless in its factuality, but you can generally be sure who wrote it and the circumstances in which it was written. I'm not sure the internet has the same assurances.

On that basis then it could be said that newspapers could in their current format if they manage to 'sell' integrity. Emphasize good factually based reporting, rather than sensationalism and bias. I'd like to think that facts are still important and if their important, then surely they are profitable.

I went into a record store today and saw that they were openly selling vynil records in a commercial fashion. There was a sign declaring 'Vynil is Back!'. Perhaps there is a precedent there. Vynil as I understand it and again I'm no expert, has a better sound quality than CD's, but they just don't last as long and aren't as easy to produce, therefore, newspapers could survive as long as they pride themselves on quality reporting as opposed to 'fast food' journalism.

Although I think its perhaps slightly unfair to suggest that journalists who go online are 'fast food' journalists, as there is quality out there.

Also do you really want to see a family sitting around a breakfast table, where everyone has their eyes fixed to a laptop? It would be interesting to see what the effects of that are.

Just a thought. By the way did you like my financial pun of a title? Think about it...there you go.

ctb

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Got Tiger? Apparently Not.

Three weeks. No entry. Surely that can't be right.

I think its more a sign that I have got myself into the swing of things here in the U of A. The past few weeks have been pretty busy, with basketball and study taking up a fair portion of my time. Unfortunately this doesn't leave much time for sight-seeing, but I knew this when I signed up, so I'm more than happy to stick to the task at hand.

The team travelled to Missouri, where we came away 3-2. It was a really good weekend from a basketball standpoint, because I got to play against the two best teams the US has to offer, in Illinois and Whitewater. Whilst there are lots of things that need improving, it was good to know that I didn't get blown off the court, and can stick it with these guys. Certainly a big confidence boost.

One thing I am perfectly happy to admit is that I am completely useless at geography and directions. So much so, that unlike your stereotypical man, I have absolutely no problem in asking for help, in fact its generally advised when travelling with me. That said, I don't care how good you are at geography, it makes little sense that Kansas City, is in fact prodeminately in Missouri and only a little bit in Kansas. That absolutely spun me out. I'm playing the FES (Foreign Exchange Student) card on that one.

The trip also included a visit to a fast-food outlet that you can only get in the mid-west. Apparently they are famous for their 'butter-burgers'. Being the Cheeseburger expert that I am, I was pretty excited by the prospect. I then followed that up with the Sundae from hell. So my heart pretty much took a pounding.

Also I somehow lost a bet, which I'm really sure was a bet, so much as a 'heads I win/tails you lose' situation. The endgame is that I have to die my hair blonde. The upside is that at least I don't have to die my hair blue.

The only other really exciting thing to happen, was an asthma issue. Woke up. Couldn't breathe. Went to class. Really couldn't breathe. Went to medical center. Put on machine for an hour. Breathe better. Given Medication. Week later, totally fine.

Tiger Woods was also in town this week. I had planned to go out and watch him play. Golf isn't really my primary interest, but you have to respect what Tiger does. However the plans hit a snag when Tiger got bumped out in the second round. Lame. Super Lame.

Spring Break is coming up, my options at this stage are either, Mexico or California. I'd prefer Mexico, but would be satisfied with Cali.

ctb

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Bama Jama

Lets see, I've shaved four times since I last posted, so it must have been about two weeks. Super manly I know.

Oh so last week I went to see my first college basketball game. Pleased to report that the U of A took care of Washington State University. Being such a big basketball fan, this was a massive thrill for me. The standard of basketball was good, there were three sets of cheerleaders, a marching band, three mascots and best of all 13 000 vocal and biased supporters. Brilliant stuff.

A little thing called the superbowl happened and the air was let out of an entire state's collective balloon. I won't harp on too much about that. But did you see Bruce Springteen's powerslide during the half-time show? The boss still has it!

Classes seemingly floated along as they always do. Getting through. One of my classes had particular significance this week, with a 'pro-life' exhibition being erected in the middle of the university. It contained 15 foot images of aborted feotuses. If the aim of the exhibition was to provoke a response it succeeded. People from all angles of the political spectrum weren't afraid to voice their opinion.

I went to Birmingham, Alabama this weekend for another round of games with the basketball team. We went 2-1, going down to UTA again. The result was dissapointing, but hopefully it will translate to some desperation on the training track this week.

Alabama brought me my first barbeque/steakhouse experience. Its a good thing I'm not adverse to eating meat. So much meat. I had 4 cheeseburgers in 3 days. Someone point me in the direction of the gym. Actually you better get another burger on the grill, I'll probably be hungry afterwards. Oh and Cheese-cornbread biscuits? Wow. Just Wow.

I found out the term 'gang-banging' is not to be thrown around lightly. Who knew?

ctb.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

United States of Australia

For those who are lucky enough to call themselves citizens of the sunburnt country I hope enjoyed the festivities that go along with our national holiday. I'm sure you all enjoyed them responsibly and took time to reflect on what exactly it means to be Australian. No. Seriously. I'm almost positive you did that.

For myself, this was the first time I spent Australia on foreign soil, quite an unusual experience. Especially when you see photos of what other people have been getting upto back home. That said, myself and the other Australian students tried to make it as 'Australian' as possible, by popping a few snaggas on the barbie and sinking Fosters. Apparently Fosters is 'Australian for beer', but I must admit this was the first time I've had the stuff that comes out of the blue tin and I don't think I was alone.

I also managed to listen to the webcast of Triple J's Hottest 100. This is something I have enjoyed doing for a little while now, and I have most of the CD's in my collection. I often don't agree with what comes out on top and what doesn't make the list. Like for example, how Phrase's 'Clockwork' and 'No Rides Left' by Horrorshow missed out. I'm not sure that I saw any TZU in there either? I was also surprised that Vampire Weekend didn't poll better. Perhaps that style of Indie/Pop/Rock has done its dash. Who knows?

I spent a fair portion of the weekend on my social network of choice, awaiting response from my video speech for PC's 21st. I would like to take another opportunity to issue an unreserved apology to members of Patrick's family for any potential embarrasment caused. However I would like to think that I delevired what was asked of me. It was certainly a tough thing to miss out on, however I knew that this would be one of the consequences of my decision to come to the US. I think I can take solace in the fact that the party looked like it was absolutely insane and that everyone made sure that the big red machine had a great night.

So how about that weather huh? Well its freezing during the night time, but it is the middle of winter so thats to be expected. During the day however you could be excused for thinking that we are on the cusp of summer. It is absolutely beautiful. A lot of guys I have spoken to, said that they came to the U of A for the climate. I thought that was a crap answer. But with the weather being the way it has over the last couple of days, perhaps it is an answer of some merit. It does make for ominous signs for when we roll into summer though.

I lined up in my first official college basketball tournament this weekend. That's right, I play college basketball, what do you do?

I'm sure there are a number of responses that would trump that question, but I still think its pretty cool.

We ended up 3-1 for the weekend, with our only loss coming at the hands of UTA. However we get another crack at them in about 10 days, so hopefully with some solid work on the training track we can correct that one.

On a personal note, I didn't play like a complete hack, which is good, but there is still plenty of room for improvement. Although I figuire, do your best today, but make sure you are better tomorrow. I think I am acomplishing that much at least.

Today is also Chinese new year, and as it happens this year is the year of the Ox. That wouldn't come as much signifcance to me usually as I'm not Chinese (shocking I know)... although I do enjoy the food. In any case, at some point last year I was given the nickname 'The Ox'. I actually really like it, because as far as I know, Oxen are cattle that are trained to carry big loads. I would like to think that I have been transforming myself over the past little while into an Ox on the basketball court. The name itself serves as a reminder to keep working hard. Oxen are also renound for being more intelligent than your average member of the herd. Although Oxen are often castrated, the last time I checked that hasn't happened yet.

As always wikipedia has come to my immediate rescue and potential downfall, but here is an article about some of the traits of the Ox http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ox_(zodiac).

Maybe I possess these traits maybe I don't, but I think 2009 has already presented me with plenty of opportunities that would sinful to waste.

I was also given a questionaire by a Minister (of the church) today. His questions seemed to suggest that I was going to hell because I hadn't comitted 100% of my life to Jesus.

Gee. Hope not. I think I'm a nice guy...

ctb

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Chris Barty Sports Club

So this really has not much to do with anything, but I was going through some old videos on YouTube and I thought I would put together some of my favorite sporting teams just for fun. The first is my All-time Fremantle Dockers line-up. This year will mark my tenth as a member of the club and I thought I should put up a team up of all the players that have provided me with fond/not so fond memories. This is not really a 'best of' team.

FB: Robbie Hadrill, Shane Parker, Roger Hayden

HB: Dale Kickett, Luke McPharlin, James Walker

C: Shaun MacManus, Paul Haselby, Des Headland

HF: Clive Waterhouse, Matthew Pavlich, Steven Koops

FF: Jeff Farmer, Tony Modra, Andrew Wills

Ruck: Aaron Sandilands, Peter Bell, Troy Cook (c)

Int: Adrian Fletcher, Justin Longmuir, Brad Bootsma, Michael Johnson

Emg: Clem Michael, Jason Norrish, Leigh Brown, Paul Medhurst

on paper it doesn't look like a half bad team really.

Chris Barty XI

Mark Taylor (c)
Justin Langer
Ricky Ponting
Darren Leahman
Michael Clarke
Michael Bevan
Adam Gilchrist
Shane Warne
Andrew Bichel/Damien Fleming (too hard to split)
Jason Gillespie
Glenn McGrath

12th man: David Clarence Boon
Extra Man: Ian Harvey

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Patrick's Birthday

It was also my good friend Patrick's 21st birthday on the 17th of Jan. I missed it, which was sad, but he had like a billion well wishes on his social network of choice, so I'm sure that had me covered.

My present is in the mail, but who knows if and when it will get there. All I'll say about it is that inside jokes are fun.

However I will be making an appearance at the actual '21st'. It is an event shrowded in mystery. Actually we probably told everyone anyway... but even so.

ctb.

Washing on all Cylinders

Greetings Barty Watchers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIXdqR-60Ws (for reference)

This week saw a landmark event that has never before happened in my or possibly any of our lifetimes. Barack Obama's inauguration? Well that was a landmark event and certainly a very important one with globabl consequences, but its not that the one I'm thinking of. Did someone invent a deoderant that not only failed to prevent perspiration but failed to cover up the smell? Yes, that did occur, but it was more disapointing than a landmark historical event.

I found a peanut M&M with two nuts inside the one shell, they were covered in chocolatey goodness. Can I get a heleluja? Well perhaps it wasn't a divine miracle, but it was still pretty good. It reminds me of the time my friend Tom found an absurdly long french fry at his birthday party in about Grade 4. I finally have a food oddity to call my own.

Today was indeed Barack Obama's first day on the job and as expected his inaguration speech was excellent. For those of you who are regular readers (if indeed there are any) you will know that I prefer not to get to personal, as generally speaking I prefer to be a private person. However on the Obama situation I will say this, whilst it is certainly a landmark occassion for the United States to elect an African-American President, it is my hope that people will celebrate the success of his presidency just as much if not more so than the success of his Presidential campain. To put it in a football analogy, he has taken a speccy 30m out and the crowd is celebrating, I hope that he kicks the goal. Also I have seen a lot of people who are not American citizens post pro Obama messages on their social networking page of choice. Thankfully we live in countries where that is your right as a citizen. However I think it is important to remember that he is the President of the United States and not the President of Planet Earth and while I think it is marvellous that people have taken in interest in politics and perhaps have been inspired by Barack, it is important to remember that his message is only effective if we take the time to make our local communities better places. To paraphrase a wise man, 'The smallest deed is better than the best intention'. I also hope it inspires people to become more active in Australian politics. All that said, I like the man and I hope that under his guidence one of Australia's most important allies enjoys prosperity.

I also saw a guy wearing a 'McCain/Palin' t-shirt today. No matter your politics you have to admit it was a bold move. A bold move.

As a side note, I am aware that some of my university collegues do not like it when others use sporting or entertainment analogies. To those people, my blog, my analogies, if you do not like it, read another blog.

It is starting to warm up here in Tucson and it is hard to believe that it is the middle of winter. Some students have even started calling for the A/C to be turned on.

Training has been difficult this week. I have not been well, and some ill-advised decisions on my part to stay up late have hindered my performance. This week also proved to be a valuable reminder that for me, very few things come quickly and that patience and good work ethic will be required. That said I am very fortunate and the reward is always worth the toil, so I generally don't mind sticking it out.

This week I also perfected the art of 'duel wielding' my laundry. For those who play video games, you will know that duel wielding is when you are carrying two weapons. Basically I succeded in putting my colours in one machine and my whites in the other, pulling up a chair and watching the magic unfold. Its amazing how fast time goes with the help of a bit of self satisfaction.

So, how are you doing? Let me know.

ctb

Monday, January 12, 2009

Bearing down the barrel

A week is a long time in football.

And in writing a blog too apparently.

I have a few items of business that I have to get out of the way first so I'll get that done. Firstly the place where I stayed this week 'The Big Blue House' was super cool. The family that runs it helped me out a lot and were really nice so if your ever in Tucson definately look at staying there.

Secondly there have been some questions surrounding a photo of me with some LA Clippers cheerleaders. I'm not 7 foot 5 its just that they were 5 foot nothing and pretty hot.

Ok so I suppose its best to start with where I am now. I moved into my dorm room last night in the Apache building on campus. I have met my room mate and my neighbours and they seem like good blokes. I have also met a bunch of the international students and I am pleased to say that there some other Aussies and some UK lads so the Commonwealth is well represented. I am definately hoping to get something together for Australia day. Rumor has it that one of them brought a set of stumps a bat and a ball, so hopefully we can play some cricket.

There is an interesting dichotomy or perhaps trichotomy (if that's a word) in the age groupings. I am currently 20 years and 4 months give or take. In the dorms most guys are 18 or 19 which is fine, maybe I can carve out a niche as the wise old Australian guy who knows all. However with the international guys as far as I know I am the second or third youngest out of quite a large group. Most of the guys are 22, 23, 24. Again this is fine maybe I can carve out a niche as the cheeky but lovable Australian guy who is never short on whit. Finally there is the basketball team, who so far have been a great bunch of blokes, who range anywhere from 18 to 24. I just want to be a good team mate and hopefully a good enough aquisition so other Australian's can follow in my foot steps or tyre tracks as is the case. That is what is most important to me.
I should point out though that others have done it before, but I figuire that every person that does it successfully makes it a little easier for the person behind them.

I have spent a large part of this week hanging out with some of the internationals, having a look around town and there may have been a social event or two.

The thing about Tucson is that it definately seems like a university town and by that I mean that it kicks ass around the uni but other than that there is not much to do except for outdoor activities or as one shop attendant pointed out 'Tuscon is a great place to blow shit up'. Cool. Thanks man.

I spent a few hours everyday last week practicing with the team. We train five times a week 2.5 hours a day and do two weights sessions a week, so that should offset the addiction to cheeseburgers and mexican food I am developing. A big thanks to Drew who drove me around all week, it was seriously appreciated and was an example of one of the things I love about team sport, you help each other out where you can, it doesn't matter if you've been there five minutes or five years. Whether its a cricket club, basketball club, footy club or in fact any club or society the good ones all have that aspect to them, which is something I cherish. Well maybe Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band doesn't do it, because they seem to about being on their own but you get my point. If anyone who reads this did first year Euro Studies with me you'll know what I mean when I say this is an example of Social Capital. It kicks ass.

Training has involved most fittness stuff which I hate because most people are faster than I am and I hate being down the back. I love it because when your last there is nothing more fun than picking off the bastard in front of you (not that they're bastards, like I said, good blokes). My hands got cut up circa 2006 (those of you who were there in Brissy will remember) and they hurt like hell. But as AC/DC once said 'Hell ain't a bad place to be'. I wouldn't be anywhere else right now.

We've had to sing the University of Arizona fight song a few times which contains the University Slogan of 'Bear Down' I'm pretty sure it means something like 'suck eggs' or 'toughen up' or 'put your head down and get on with it', something like that. A version of it can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LoZwNxR9kw

We played against a couple of NWBA teams on the weekend and I think I did ok so that's good.

Apparently I live in one of the more basic dorms, one of the buildings that has yet to be refurbished. It looks fine to me. Apparently it is one of the more social ones too which makes life more interesting I think. Sometimes you just have to put the silver spoon in your back pocket... not that I whip it out very often, at least I hope I don't.

I also had my first Wallmart experience. Meh, its a store with lots of stuff in it. It didn't exactly melt my face off like some people said it would.

It got me thinking though, what happened to Fossey's? Does anyone remember Fossey's and its 'friendly feelings' maybe it was a Melbourne thing.

Anyway the guys next door have challanged me to some FIFA 09. Which is fair enough after I was talking myself up. I love FIFA, I don't always love my mouth so much.

ctb.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Who likes Cacti?

I have left the city of angels in my wake and I am now currently situated in Tuscon, Arizona. I'm staying at a tourist house (its not quite a boarding house, its not quite a b & b, its definately not a lodge, its just a residential house where tourists stay). It is really nice and has everything you could ever need, wireless, tv, fridge, bathroom etc. except there is one thing, the ceiling is really low. I'm not a super tall guy (186cm at last check) but my head almost hits the roof and I have to sit down in the shower. I never thought I'd envy short people, but I have to admit it would come handy around here. Seriously though I'm just nitpicking its all really good and I'm only here for a week until I move into my Uni accomidation.

I drove here with my folks, (who currently live in California) and all up the journey took about 8 hours. I've harped on about the mountains before but they are truly spectacular and I think I actually managed to hold the camera still enough to get some good pictures. Arizona is pretty much all desert and I was pretty stoked to see my first cactus. However there are literally 7 billion cacti along the way and it would be nice to see a palm tree or a banana or something. But the mountains have the cacti's back on the scenery front. Oh and my mum gave me some advice...

'Don't touch them they're prickly'
Thanks mum.

There are some pretty good radio stations throughout regional Arizona, mostly classic rock which suits me fine, but occasionally there are patches where all you can get is Country and Christian Rock. I chose to turn the radio off.

Today I went to a tourist town called Tombstone which is aparently the home of the great Wyatt Earp. Yep. I went there. Yep.

Around the university area of Tuscon there are a couple of different sections, but the one I visited last night was the hippie village. There are three bong shops and five more tattoo parlours. Oh and a hydroponics store,. I'm not making any comment one way or another I just wanted to point it out.

In other news the ringtone on my phone is now 'White Room' by Cream. It is totally awesome.

ctb

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Mutant Ninja Turtles of an Unspecified Age

Since I last entered a bunch of stuff has happened. I'm sure stuff has happened for you too and if you have the time I'd like to hear about it.

Firstly though I have an apology to make. I got a digital camera as my present for Christmas, which is awesome, but I haven't had one before so a bunch of the photos that I put up will probably be crap and uninteresting to most people, at least to begin with. They are on my social-networking page of choice.

So there was Christmas which was cool, although the dog didn't appreciate being dressed up like a decoration. It wasn't my idea I was seriously opposed to the whole thing. There's not too much else I can say about Christmas it was pretty much stock standard stuff.

I have continued to train at UCLA. My shot wasn't looking particularly pretty (think of the girl you take home at the end of the night because your first two choices are already taken...yeah I mean its OK, its all runs on the board I guess, but I mean we can do better) but thanks to some outside help that was fixed up. Apparently upon release of the ball sometimes my wrist goes out too the left instead of going straight down.

The Other day I went to Venice beach to have a look. Its a bit like the Freo Markets except its right on the beach. It is also covered with Freo type characters. If you have ever been a Freo resident or frequent there regularly, you'll know what I mean.

I think what's unique about Venice Beach is that they have an outdoor gym located on the beach and a bunch of basketball courts where the real street level stuff is. Judging from the number of t-shirts that were being sold with his face on it, I'm guessing Arnie must have pushed some weights there.

Speaking of T-shirts, there were a few stalls that sold novelty ones and I would have bought them for people if I had some money, but didn't so I figuired I'd just post them here and you could lay claim to them.

'I'm big in Japan'
'Dunder-Mifflin'
'FACT: Dwight Schrute is selling tickets to the gun show'
'Such is life'
'I play field hockey and I'm not gay' (controversial?)

There were a bunch of others but I forgot.

The other thing about Venice beach is the animal freak show tent. I didn't actually go in mostly because I'm not sure that its the kind of thing you should be profiting off. That said if the animals are taken care of its probably ok. The spruiker said their was a five legged dog and outside they had a turtle with two heads. I didn't seem particularly useful to me, but its probably better at fighting crime than regular mutant turtles. Two turtle heads are better than one?

Wow. That was terrible. I apologise.

Last night, (nye) I went to my first ever NBA game. The Clippers vs the 76ers. Think Western Force vs Queensland Reds or Freo vs Richmond. I had an absolute blast, half of the fun is what goes on when the basketball isn't being played. If your in the US you have to go. I've talked about basketball a lot so I won't waste too much time on it. I was pretty stoked that during a timeout I stuck up the left duke and caught a t-shirt that was thrown into the crowd. That never happens.

Oh and steer clear of the 'cheese' nachos. You'll pay now. You'll pay later.

I then came home, had a beer and watched the CNN coverage of New Years Eve. Although it was a quiet new years eve I think it was a good one namely because I didn't risk having my head in a toilet bowl around 2am and starting the new year tasting vomit in my mouth and wondering what I said last night. Perhaps this will be a new trend.

I also went to a Kosher Subway. I don't fully understand the whole 'Kosher foods' thing. But from what I understand its an aspect of the Jewish religion that forbids the mixing of meat and dairy products. If you can give me a run-down of what the deal is I'd be pretty interested to know.

Today is the big 'Bowl' game for College Football is CA. Local side USC (University South California) is taking on Penn. State. I don't quite understand the full story (I'll work it out) but it seems like a big deal.

I hope you had a successful nye whatever you were doing. Good things for 2009.

ctb

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Barteesees

I'll write a proper entry tomorrow, but I thought given that there is 20 minutes left in the year and I have had a beer it would be a good time for the first ever Barteesee awards. This may be the only time the Barteesees are dished out so feel proud if you receive one. As the name suggests I decide the catagories and I decide who wins what.

NEWCOMER OF THE YEAR:
- Zoe Young
- Lee Nott

THE 'TOUCH TOO MUCH' AWARD:
- Kayne West for 808 and Heartbreaks, too much synth or electro voice thingy

THE 'I DON'T GET WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT' AWARD:
- Kings of Leon for 'Sex on Fire'

THE 'TV DISCOVERY OF THE YEAR'
- Season Two of the American Office

THE 'SO GLAD YOUR BACK' AWARD
- AC/DC (specifically Rock n Roll Train)

THE 'BEER OF THE YEAR' AWARD
- Newcastle Brown Ale

THE 'UNIT OF THE YEAR' AWARD
- Hist 2270 - Australia at War

THE 'PANTO OF THE YEAR' AWARD
- The Curtin version of Aladdin

TRIP OF THE YEAR
- Wheelcats to Brisbane, Wheelcats to Japan

ROLLERCOASTER OF THE YEAR
- The Simpsons Ride

THE 'HIT ME OVER THE HEAD BECAUSE ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN THIS' AWARD
- Yan and Claire for merciless playing of Death Cab for Cutie on a trip down south. Although it provided plenty of fodder for comedy.

THE 'JOKE GONE TOO FAR' AWARD
- Siobhan

THE 'BEST PARTY ORGANISATION' AWARD
- Tim Burns

THE 'SPEW OF THE YEAR' AWARD
- Ben Wright's 21st

THE 'BEST THING TO DO ON A MONDAY NIGHT' AWARD
- Cards

THE 'SPORTING VICTORY OF THE YEAR' AWARD
-The Rollers
- Stuart McGill retires

Sorry if I missed anything out but its New Years now so there is no point dwelling. Lets get on with it.

ctb.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Seasons Greetings

Hi everyone,

I think its fair to say that tourism part of my trip is over. Having been to the theme parks and seen the Hollywood sign it is definately time to get down to business. I needed to find a place to train.

Basketball having a well renowned street element to it, I was pretty excited to start training at one of the local parks. That was until a kids basketball team turned up being driven by their parents in mini-vans and SUV's. Not particularly 'street'. That said I was pretty pleased with my touch given that I had a week off.

The next day I decided to seek out a proper gym. Having not seen any of them I wanted to make sure that I found a decent one. Then my dad had the suggestion of shooting around at UCLA. Surely not. Could Chris Barty shoot around at the home of such names as Walton, Kareem, Miller and Wooden? I was slighty pessimistic. However to my surprise, there was a gym available for general use.

One thing I will say about UCLA is it is a seriously impressive campus. The minute you arrive, you know are somewhere. The Ronald Regan Medical Centre greets you when you get through the gates. It definately excites me for what's to come.

Needless to say the courts are amazing and the facilities are first class. Especially considering its not even the main gym. What has impressed me the most though is just how approachable and friendly everybody there has been. I have been lucky enough to meet a couple of former UCLA Bruins and a bloke who played in the NBA D-League. Then yesterday I took a visit to the Athletic Hall of Fame, which was definately pretty cool. Hopefully it won't be long before they have a Wheelchair Basketball program of their own, they definately have the facilities.

Other than that, last week featured shopping for gifts and watching the movie the Wrestler. Worth a look if your into that kind of thing (which I am) but probably not a great date movie.

I'm definatley missing watching the cricket with the lads on boxing day, its not quite the same listening to the coverage online. Hopefully you sink a few beers and make many colourful remarks.

Oh and Subway. American Subway doesn't have Old English cheese or Parmesan Oregano bread! What the hell!?

Tomorrow I'm hoping to go to the tolerance museum which is located across the road. Fans of South Park will know why this is a must do.

Merry Christmas and I wish peace and prosperity to you all.

ctb

Friday, December 19, 2008

Universal Speaking

Firstly I'd like to wish my Grandma a happy birthday for last week. Happy Birthday!!

OK so, I might have spoken to a few of you already about one of the perks of being in the US.

Basketball.
So much basketball.

Watching the Lakers/Heat game and the Clippers/Pacers game (at the same time) rammed home one very important lesson. Practice your free throws. Both games were incredibly tight and came down to the last play. The difference being that Kobe missed his game winning shot, where as the bloke from the Clippers was able to able to drain the crucial three, forcing the game into overtime. After the game went into a second overtime, the Clippers were able to come away with a crucial win. However there is no doubt that the outcome could have been different for the Lakers and a little more comfortable for the Clippers had they hit their free throws.

My short description doesn't do it justice, but the point is that free throws will be a focal point of tomorrow's practice.

There has also been a reduction in my cheesburger intake. I actually ordered a salad the other night! I don't think that's ever happened before. Sure I've had things with salad, but a salad by itself? We must be at high altitude or something.

Speaking of high altitude, one thing I didn't expect about LA was the mountains. They are pretty spectacular, and given that most of the architecture around the place is pretty flat, it emphasises them just that bit more. It is definatley worth a look if your ever in town, (not that you'll be able to miss them).

I was also lucky enough to pay a visit to Universal Studios. On the whole I have to say I enjoyed it more than Disneyland, if for no other reason than there were hardly any lines given that it was in the middle of the week.

The Simpsons ride was totally awesome. It shreds biscuits. One of the best rides that I have ever been on. The Simpons, has it ever let us down? The other massive highlight was the Mummy ride, definately one for the roller coaster junkie.

Throw in a couple of good shows, a tour and Universal Studios definately makes for a sweet day.

Oh and Skype. If you have it let me know.

ctb

Monday, December 15, 2008

Grey in LA

Hi All,

Well I've been in LA for a few days now getting a small taste of the American life. Those of you who are familiar with my struggle with the Yen, will be pleased to know that I have no such problem with the greenback. Much less shrap.

I'm also very glad that my parents building has a gym across the road, namely because at the moment I am averaging 0.75 cheeseburgers a day. I have literally started doing cardio in anticipation of my next serving of bun-based satisfaction. Other than that I have been eating pretty well, wheaties and a banana for breakfast, and the US is definately not short on fresh fruit.

I woke up this morning to storm warnings across most of California, and although its snowing in other parts of the state, there is nothing here yet. I will keep you posted on that front.

In other news, I went to Disneyland yesterday and it was an interesting experience to say the least. Some of you will know that I LOVE rollercoasters and other rides. When I went to the royal show around the age of 12,13,14 thats all I would spend my money on, I would never bother with sideshow alley or showbags (except for the classic bertie beetle).

On the rides front, most of it is built for small kids but if you ever get the chance you have to go on the Space mountain (i think thats what its called) and the Indiana Jones ride. Those two rides had a combined wait of 90 minutes for a collective of 3 minutes riding but it was an awesome three minutes.

I also saw the famed 'HOLLYWOOD' sign yesterday, although I have to say its less exciting than the big pinapple or the big banana, mostly because it makes less sense to have a massive piece of fruit in the middle of nowhere, than it does a massive sign telling you what you already know.

TOURIST: Wow a big piece of fruit, what is it doing here? Why would you have something like this? Did it fall off a massive tree? Can you use it to make a massive smoothie?

See. its intriguing.

Two things have come out so far which have already made this a rewarding trip. Firstly, basketball on three channels at once on the weekend. Secondly, I finally have an answer to the age old question 'who throws a shoe?', Iraqi journalists as it turns out. Google/Youtube it. As to whether his actions were justified I'll leave it to you.

I still haven't met a celebrity.

ctb

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Airports Blow

I'm sitting in the QANTAS lounge next to a young Bob Saget. I mean really, of all the celebrity lookalikes I could have sat next to, I get Bob Saget. Having said that, Mick Molloy just walked in with Chow Yun Fat. Things are looking up.

As an avid Kanye West fan, I decided to purchase his latest album '808 and Heartbreaks' at the airport newsagency. This was despite the fact that 'Love Lockdown' sounded a bit off the beaten track for KW, lots of singing and not much rapping. I had also heard that the rest of the album was like this, but despite all of that I decided part with $25 and get it anyway.

I'm dubious. Very dubious.

In the words of the Rock, 'Know your role and shut your mouth' (and then open it again so you can start rapping)

That said, Graduation took a few listens as did Late Registration and the latter is one of my favourite albums ever, so I'll persist.

OH MAN, I just spotted an old dude wearing a monocle... sweet. I wonder if he owns a pocket watch, or a series of hotels on Mayfair. Or an X-Wing, if your playing Star Wars monopoly.

On a final note, I made a very big decision yesterday. I decided to retire 'Dale', my loyal baseball cap, that has been with me on many adventures. Dale has long since lost his elasticity and is now a yellow/brown/grey/blackish shade of white after bearing the brunt of countless days in the sun. After several complaints about his appearance, and an unwillingness to fork out for new elastic, we decided it was best that he step back from full duties. Although he will still remain a valued member of my secondary rotation. The search is now on for a replacement, one thing is for sure, it will be filled by a big head.

Looking foward to arriving, and leaving the airport behind.

ctb

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

So it begins...

So after several prolonged farewells today is the day that I jet off to the United States. All I can say is that its about time. After months of planning, paperwork, emails, paperwork, training, paperwork, essays, paperwork, actual work, paperwork, farewells and paperwork the end is finally in sight, so I can finally begin.

Despite the fact that I seemed to have developed a reputation as a bit of larrikin, I generally consider myself relatively introverted and unless I think I'm going to get a laugh, I don't enjoy talking about myself. So for the most part I'm pretty sure that I'll be writing (I refuse to say blogging) about isignificant stuff, about whether or not the coke tastes different or whether the 'super size' is really that super.

Also I don't really like the idea of just how public our information has become these days especially with the advent of things like facebook and blogspot, although it is only fair to mention that I am a user of both.

With all of that said I think it would be a good idea to start by outlining a few of my goals for the rest of 2008 and 2009.

BASKETBALL:

- Claim a spot on the u/23's team for Paris 2009
- Come out of my experience in Arizona as a quality basketball player and quality human being
- Return to Australia to play the majority of the Australian season and play in a winning grand final.
- Lose a bit of weight, so I am no longer considered the team's '3rd fattest player' although I will say I think that reputation is slightly undeserved, its more like 5th or 6th.

ACADEMICALLY

- To perform as well as I can and recieve above satisfactory grades.
- To Improve on skills that have so far been lacking, such as time management, organisation and proofreading.

PERSONALLY
- Go to Disneyland, the wrestling and a taping of one of the various 'tonight' shows.
- Meet a Celebrity
- Win a rap battle
- Become a minor Celebrity
- Eat a sandwich as big as my head (I'm told they exsist)

Obviously, within each of these goals there are small goals within these bigger ones that will need to be ticked off to help acheive the bigger ones, but there is no need to get too specific just yet.

I should probably start wearing a box whenever I go into a shop, because by all accounts the exchange rate is a kick in the balls.

ctb.